All the way to the roots!

The rustic smell of an old page exists

Those so called underlined emotions run deep in mind

Altough you long to free them forever,

They still hold you tight and never depart

Oh the Sound of those old temple bells

Beautifully rings somewhere way too close

So how far we have come along

I should say that the hide and seek always continue

That soft touch of an old palm still hurts

Completely removing maladies, that it planted smiles

Oh boy!! Growing together they taught me love

And it never left..It grew ! it just grew my love!!

Echo

Life is an Echo

Whatever you send out - comes right back
Whatever you sow - you reap
Whatever you give - you get
Whatever you see in others - exists in you

Life is indeed an Echo, its like a boomeranit always gets back yo you

Oh the Joy of "Moaning"

I never liked optimists(maybe not). I just don't trust them. People who always see the positive only in everything cannot be human. And even if they are, they must be truly miserable as they deprive themselves of this marvelous opportunity to moan (yeaaaahaa). They also strike me as shallow, unable to see the bigger picture and question everything. And my god, you should question everything in life.

Often moaners are labeled as negative pessimistic people, who can’t enjoy life. This couldn’t be more wrong. As a misanthrope, I personally take great pleasure in complaining about all the stupid and annoying things/people I encounter every day. Not only I enjoy the process of it, it also creates the strongest bond possible when you hate the same things. Seriously, think about it, if two people enjoy the same things that’s nice to hang out, but when they are annoyed by the same situations they immediately become best friends and are inseparable. They can spend hours talking about things that do their heads in and feel perfectly happy. I truly believe that ultimately everyone is looking for a person they can share these beautiful moments of moaning with, because it is a real indicator that they are comfortable with each other.

Among other things questioning everything helps to manage your expectations. If there is one thing life and Tollywood cinema have taught me is that you should always expect the worst; it will never let you down. Then whenever you get a letter saying that you owe the government 3000 USD for no other reason than a complete lack of brain and rational thought from their side, you’ll just shrug, give a deep sigh of fatigue and deal with it. But if you are always joyous and bubbly, a situation like this would shock and anger you, you’d cry and wring your hands in a very theatrical manner. DARAAAMAA.

So being negative at times isn’t that bad after all, at least it prepares you for all the misfortunes of life. And those who see the bright side should stop shaming us for being ourselves.

Amen

To my future me

To my future me,

I hope you stand for yourself just as I have taught you now. Be the person you always wanted to be. Be strong, Be compassionate. Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give into your fears. Don't hold on to the people who didn't believe in you, been dishonest or lied to you. Just ignore and move on. Let go of the people who didn't choose you. Be successful but don't choose money over love. Don't take the easy way out. Fight your way. You have done it before, you are doing it now and in future if circumstances arise fight then too.
               Hey future me, I love you, no matter how stubborn you act, no matter how lazy you be at times, how emotionless you show yourself to be. Don't wait for anyone to complete you. Go out, drink wine, watch movies and take a break from time to time. Be with the guy who sees the light inside of you. Kiss him goodnight every single night. Never forget to tell him how much you love him and that how much goodness he has brought in your life.
              I hope you laugh your heart out. I hope you travel places, feel the green wind and beautiful blue waters. I hope you dance around your living room to your favorite song and call up your friend to catch up. I hope you take a stroll out on rainy days just to smell the rain. Wear the kind of  dress you want and go to a party. I hope amidst all your busy schedule you always find time for your small family. I hope you return home to your kids everyday and ask them how was your day.
              Be happy dear. Let only a few people's opinion matter rather than the entire world's. Find these people and keep them safe. Be good. Make a difference. Always give a helping hand to the ones who need it. Don't give up on people. Don't give up on your faith and never leave hope. I wish  you get over your pain and forgive your mistakes. Share your burden my dear. And ever you feel you are getting lost come back to read this letter.
              Hey future me, be that person with whom I will fall in love a million times.

Rusty petals -haiku

I Am So Out Of Joy.....

Even A Withered Flower

Seems To Have More Life.....

Cest la Vie

I hate Mondays!!. They are like those people you wish to avoid but nonetheless happen to meet at regular intervals. Like a ‘dare’ that befalls on you no matter how strategically you try to play. It’s like what one feels like on reaching the top of the giant wheel. It all looks so beautiful from that height. Everything seems within your reach. But as it slowly descends, the larger picture is lost and all you are left with is that thing which lies immediately before your eyes. It’s exactly the way a Monday begins, giving hope to numerous possibilities. But by the time you plan something, it’s all lost. Whoosh. The ride is over. You have to come back to ground reality and begin the circle of daily routine.

The best things happen on a hunch, like they did the weekend that went by, makes you wonder why there is a Monday..... A day at the serene home with the fambam, a few hrs with Nika, some dance, lotsa music, awesome Indian saapaadu(food), very little sleep (but totally rested), a few hours with a special friend. There’s something about the places these activities take place in and the kind of people you see there that gives rise to an emotion that lingers around for quite some time. Suddenly, you feel a part of a community that endorses the aesthetically appealing activities. It gives you a different kind of high; a voice that screams out ‘yeah, this is life man’. To paint a picture with bold strokes on a huge canvas, to capture the myriad human expressions through the lens, to appreciate beauty and have the freedom to express it the way you understand it...That’s life.

Had it not been for my Sciences, I would have taken up fine arts. I’m reminded of a line from Bob Dylan’s song, “People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.”

Totally Stamped

Totally Stamped

INDIVIDUALITY-  why be afraid to standout

Why is there a need to name a relationship or to confirm to a particular school of thought of a society, which is defined by distinctive culture and institutions? There is no society in the absence of variety in terms of culture, caste, professions and thought processes.

Why is a nomenclature required to gain acceptability in the so-called society? Why is something that is unnamed, illegal or unacceptable? Why is one's husband one's lord even if he might be the only one who inflicts pain in the form of domestic violence, on his wife? Why is it wrong if two people, honest and sincere towards each other, decide to spend a life of togetherness without bearing the stamp of a married couple? Why can't a relationship be looked upon as one of care, respect and love?

Unless a woman gives birth to a child, what is it that would stop her from embracing another child with love, unless she adopts the child? Why does one need a contract to express one's love? Where has the freedom of a secular nation gone - freedom to express, freedom to decide, freedom to think and act beyond one's religious and cultural constraints?

What is the whole point of being called an individual when one is not allowed to be an individual but follow the herd? How is a society formed, if not through varied ideologies and everyone's own strengths? I am no sociologist but I am an individual with the right to seek the respect that this word deserves.

From now.....

I am not going to climb mountains or follow every stream
But I am going to fool around, until I find a dream
Then I am going to take tomorrow and dip it in the dream...
Separate all the sorrow and collect up all the cream!
May be if I have the time, I will mix it with my love
If you like I can pass it on, only tell me how...
Here's to an incredibly mad rest of the year !

Messin around with peeps........

Yesterday i was at the groceries getting some veggies. Couple of very good looking guys looking for something from the recipe in their hands

Guy1: Have you picked everything?

Guy2: Yes, everything as per this biryani recipe dude. The only thing that remains is Dalchini.

Guy1: wtf is that.. ok let me look

A little later I met one of the guy near the aisle of spices and I could see his face full of frustration and irritation...

Me: Looking for dalcheeni??

Guy: Yes!

Me: Search for cinnamon...

Guy: Aah!!! *Picks something* is this it??

Me: *with a smile* yes!

Guy: but wait how did you know I was looking for this?

Me: *with an indulgent smile* I have magical powers

And with that I walked out 😋😎😆 leaving the guy with a perplexed look on his face....

July madham vandhaal...!!!

It’s quite surprising how your days seem to drag on and on and on to no end while an entire month flies off in a blink. A month with a good mix of happy and sad moments. New work, loads of work. Work for money or work for satisfaction? Went out with some amazing friends and as usual did our regular mokkais. Traveled home spend time with the loves. Realized how much fun it is to hang out with people who can make you smile no matter what. Our capacity increases 10 fold. Dance after dance, drink after drink, was a marathon night. A wild month, hectic, no time to breathe with so much work. Cracked about an idea which Neha and I had for a start-up couple years back, Obviously None took off. Quite a few birthday treats and bashes. A talk on the travails of a 30 year old with one of my sweethearts cracked me up. Over a 100 different emotions I showed apparently. Definitely something i would do. Sad and strange to see that a million more feel what I do about the above. Few contacts added on Facebook. Someone gets in touch out of the blue. Drama ensues. Never stops...Hit a dead end, again. I promise myself not to repeat it again. I will break it for sure. Like always, ended the month feeling super tired. Lost touch with a few. Got in touch with a lot more. Thinking of it, June was anything but eventful. Guess I have to start taking somethings/days with a handful of salt and some with a lot of love and hugs.

Some random encounters..

Encounters

I've come across several characters in the last 20 odd years of my life. Some have made an impact, some have influenced me, some have just passed by, some have incurred my wrath, and a few are slotted in the top rung of my ladder of friends. A special place indeed.
According to me, friendship doesn't mean to be sticking together all day. The real test of friendship is the ability of a friend to rekindle the fire even after ages.

A bit of ego we might have had,
Numerous fights, some happy some sad,
Those lovely moments,
The many quarrels,
The various squabbles that are yet to come,
Making friendship even stronger in the long run.

I'm sure there will be more people walking in and out of my life. Some staying for good, some otherwise. The above statements were made out of my little encounters with those beautiful souls branded as friends in my time of existence.

She wears her pain like an invisible cloak, you may never it except for her eyes, they are blue !!!!

Encounters

Continuing from my yesterdays post ;)

Last 20 odd years of her life, some have made an impact, some have influenced her, some have just passed by, some have incurred her wrath, and a few are slotted in the top rung of her ladder of friends. A special place indeed.
According to her, friendship doesn't mean to be sticking together all day. The real test of friendship is the ability of a friend to rekindle the fire even after ages.

A bit of ego we might have had,
Numerous fights, some happy some sad,
Those lovely moments,
The many quarrels,
The various squabbles that are yet to come,
Making friendship even stronger in the long run.

Talk about encounters, a fairly new encounter yet not so new; rushed in amidst all this with a pleasant and a wonderful gesture. Never has there been a time has she felt such a beautiful gesture, was the teary eyes mentioned. She thanks this wonderful friend who clearly knew how to make her day in many ways.

For it might take a lifetime to find answers,
A lifetime to discover what it was…
I will stand by your side searching for the answers 
Looking for them far and wide… 
While the only place I ever was to look 
Were into those beautiful soulful eyes

Didn't stop there...did it?... more surprises come her way

I wish it never ended.. 
For it was the most magical thing I had felt
It made me smile, it made me cry, 
It reminded me of what I missed the most 
Not a shoulder to lean on 
But arms that held me… 
Held me like, they never wanted to let go!

There will be a lot of people walking in and out of her life. Some of these beautiful souls that who are termed as encounters are not always mere encounters in her time of existence.

Height of Ego!

My neighbor thinks I look Gujju/Punjabi. Her husband thinks I lean towards the Mallu side. Ladies at this salon think I look Bong. The owner of Komala Vilas thinks I am not a south Indian and tells my friend "She is not a Southie". People sometimes speak to me in hindi even after I tell them a million times that i dont speak hindi. I can understand hindi to an extent but conversing has always been hard for me. I know quiet a bit of Telugu which fools some people into thinking I'm Telugu.


Being mistaken for a Keralite is ok (just to an extent) as I somewhat fall there
(just a teeny weeny part though; some of my mom's side are from Palghat). Being mistaken for a Parsi/ Sindhi/ Sardarni/Assami is not. Do i look anything close to an Assamese??? The answer is a BIG NO.

I'm tired of being told I don't look like what I am, a full blooded Tamilian! Ones an aquaintance told me I fit really well as a Punjabi or Bong because I have the typical big "cow" eyes.

My Tamil may not be the greatest but hey! we all have our flaws. I don't embarass friends by telling them they smell constipated, their nostril hair is long enough to be braided, their shoes look like a very angry buffalo has barfed on them, and that they look as dumb as they are and vice versa.

People should just accept me the way I am. They can always unaccept me in their blogs:P !

Quote of the day!

I was driving by from work and for some reason thought about my school days, maybe i saw something or someone that brought me this big grin on my face that lacked for some time. Is this what they meant in the dead poets society.

Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary

Happy Madras Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reposting one of my old posts from 2008





A sliver of land, where the Fort. St. George and the secretariat now exist in Madras - now called Chennai, was sold to the East India Company. Madras is 369 years old today.

I’m frantically attached to Chennai/Madras. Actually, it’s much more than that. A lot of em love Madras, Its indescribable as to how much i miss chennai these days. I left at a pretty young age; but realization occurred much later :) It’s the most lovable place in the world. I’ve been badly missing Chennai for quiet sometimes now and it was only last week, I was intending to ramble here on that. I was planning to list down the things that I miss in Madras.

A walk along the sea shore in Marina Beach, Elliots Beach. Watching the waves, getting drenched on the salty sea water in the beach. Short walk by Kapaleeswarar Kovil and seeing the ubiquitous Ganesha ‘temples’ at every other street in the city. The Gulmohar, pink-coloured flowers in Thoongumoonji maram and the red fire tree. One of the prominent things is the kaapi, 10 paisa kuchi icecream (which i secretly bought), the sneaking out in the afternoons to go buy soanpapdi by the street side, kai yendhi bhavan, walks by the crowded beaches, watching kids play cricket with their handmade bats, gettin yelled by mom for using moms account at the nearby store to get a 5-star, hearing the poo-karis having their petty fights in the local madras thamizh and as the festival season fast approaches the crowd on T.Nagar streets, the diwali shopping and above all that the friends and folks out there.

Visiting the many small shops in the ever-crowded Ranganathan Street. Eating out at Saravana Bhavan, Eden, Gangotri. Ice creams at Freeze Zone, Milky World. :D Sweets at Grand Sweets, Sri Krishna Sweets,, Collect the beautiful bundance of flowers and fruis from koyambedu market while all you get a big smile from them for being the vendors 1st customer. Platform kadaikaran with whom we bargain endlessly and finally no doubt he wins, the road-side Romeos who stare and shamelessly sing loudly whenever a girl passes by. :|. Fighting with the auto drivers for asking "meterku mela kaasu". Watching footboard parties in the pallavan bus hanging to one side making it look like the bus mite topple anytime. As the evening goes by hearing the maamis in the colony gossipping about the kids in the block and boasting about their US settled kids.

Even today, while driving to work, I was listening to this fusion bit by mandolin srinivas and felt so nostalgic. Reminded me of the times, i sit by the beautiful Oonjal in my paati's porch sipping her filter coffee, listening to the beautiful instrumental music thats being aired in the radio during the afternoons. Going to to some of the margahzi kutcheris at the music academy, Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan; Times when i used to pull a big act to bunk music class, Watching movies at the satyam and hanging out with those long lost friends whom i shared my cherished childhood at amethyst.

This is Madras for me, i am sure i missed lots more; I simply love the city. Whatever it maybe. Madras nalla Madras. Whoever says, I love Madras, raise your hands !! Here’s mine.

Munbe Vaa 

I have been wanting to do this song for a couple years now and when Venki asked i jumped and said yes lets record it. I am impressed how Venkatesh had got the feel Naresh Iyer has brought in this song. I am glad we did this song together:)

This song is probably one of the best romantic melodies ever ever done by Rahman. Shreya has rendered it so beautifully. Thanks Venkatesh Viswanathan , it was lotsa fun working with you, and hope we do more renditions:)

Munbe Vaa - Cover Version by Janani & Venkatesh | Muziboo

Movie: Sillunu Oru Kaadhal
Originally sung by: Naresh Iyer & Shreya Ghosal
Original music by: AR Rahman
Cover version by: Janani & Venkatesh
Female Backing vocals : Janani
Male backing harmonies: Venkatesh
Mixed by: Venkatesh Viswanathan

Changes .....Cest la vie!!

Like da shape of water the moment out of the tumbler.
Somewat akin to the weather, over seasons and time.
Everyday you are used to that solo call,arriving like clockwork.
And suddenly it stops coming.
And you are left with deliberations of how and why.
You linger thinking perchance it was an error,and that it shall arrive the next day, same time.
But it doesnt.
You irate, you protest.
And theyre shown solace.
Shown logic. More promises.
Its a new day, yet no call.
You overlook in your full hours.
And the day is gone.
And the next day and the next,and one day you realize months have departed yet that call never came.
You feign bliss; seek to fill the void with vacant things.
Confirm to them, you understand.
Lifes gotten eventful.
Priorities altered.
And the wish list occupied with things you never saw before.
And then you unearth you,lost in it somewhere.
Searched for when needed.
Habits change.
Yes, habits change.

Back to rant

Good to be back to the blogging world. Feels like I haven't ranted out in years. Now I hope to be back for good. Let me hope i am a regular and don't get lazy.

Dance like a man

Ganesh and Kumares...