Tot Memoirs !!!

Before you start reading this post, pls scroll down and read the disclaimer (tis in italics, grey) in the post right below this one ;);) I’m sure you’ll have to read it for quite sometime from now on!

My “online time” was gettin lesser by the day than the state’s monthly allowances for homeless ppl! I know can you believe it!! i cant blv myself. The maximum I get to do these days is open Gmail(reply), open Fb, open Blogspot and then log out or end up leaving myself online before I can do anything useful! I was succumbing to unknown mighty forces that are against me being online — and had almost become used to it…until yesterday!!

A chat box opened up in my Gmail and asked “Remember me?” After initial moments of , I was thrilled! It was an old, old, ooooooold friend. We shared soo many memories and our friendship from say kindergarten! And then we’d lost touch. A few years ago, when I’d started my Orkut/FB account, I had searched for her, but wasn’t lucky. And now, here she was.

We had a few long gaps amidst one liners…15 years is a long long time — and if you think there’d be lots of stuff to catch up on when you meet such an old friend, let me tell you, there is none! We had no clue what to talk about…other than one-liner replies to “Where are you these days?” and “What you up to?” and the like. And well, if you think there’d be nothing to talk about after the first round of such awkwardness, let me tell you, you’re wrong! Hehe…we launched into a trail of “Do you remember whens...” . Oh God! It was the best catching-up I had had in a long time!

We discussed kho-kho games, falling-downs(I hated that game and would always end up bruised; so would she), Delhi Bombay, Crocodile; we discussed about those irate Aunties in the colony and our incessant chatting (apparently, once we both were asked to sit at two corners during festivities, well away from each other because of our non-stop talking — and I started crying; being the true friend she was, she started off too! ); we discussed a few horrid males with whom we’d always get into a quarrel — and We'd go marching to the watchman of the colony to complain, bring back a loud-voiced watchman (Uthrabadi) and get them guys shouted at! He was one hellava sweet watchman we had :)

We literally LOL'd discussing a guy who never used to touch a girl, for fear of him getting pregnant! yea yea.. If his finger brushed against a girl’s by mistake, he’d bring out his towel and rub it off vehemently! (He’s in Santa Clara now, though I don’t know why I’ve mentioned it here ). Then there was this AntiLove Association 2 gals started who were against love. We were there as the guinea pig coz they were older than we were, we were ragged to do the bad job of stalking those ppl ;) .Hehe…we used to snoop around, find all sorts of couples in the colony, there was nothing much we as lil kids could do talk abt the akka & anna and some weird talks ( One of them happened to be my uncle & aunt) :) Also those 2 gals who used to always go behind the trees and talk ALL the time:) We were pretty naughty to think that way back then too;)

She remm the time when "C" apparantely came and told her that he will marry "J" one day... i need to talk to C and find out wats with that;)The time where Suja was hiding under the watertank with her bf...and gettin caught by us gals and she bribing us with 5-stars everytime we see her. Such brats we were:)

Oh, when Balaji the nerd guy in the gang, couldnt control his pee (ending up peeing where ever he was)and dint wannt go home coz he mite be out while playing hide & seek. Wish i could find where he is these days. Such funny guy he was!

Apparently, once those horrid males in the colony pushed her off the chair and she landed “thud” on the floor, right with her bruise facing the floor. we had our revenges too…we used to stone those guys during our every single badminton sessions!and get stoned back!

The funniest of all was the recollection of us on stage once — hair all done up with colourful ribbons that matched our dresses, we were singing away to glory!! Our game nites during powercuts in CHennai with my dad being the main guy :)

Anyway, it was a rather very very playful walk down memory lane…becoming the lil kids we were again, even if for a few minutes, was awesome — and I enjoyed it so very thoroughly! Now, that little girl is a stunningly beautiful woman! I was shocked when I saw her picture and gaping for quite a while!

I’m so glad we’re back in touch. 15 years of fun we’d missed. Welcome back, Sweets!

Ninaivugal!

Ninaivugal alaigalaaga,
Manadhil nindraai amaidhiyaaga,
Vaanveliyil thendralaaga,
En vaazhvil vandha inbamaaga,
Un ninaivugal en kangalil kaneeraaga,
Andru maghizndhom iruvarum, Ondraaga,
Neeralaigal unnai muthamittadhu
En Gnyabagathil endrum pasumaiyaaga,
Nirkiren kadarkaraiyoram indru thaniyaaga !!!!!!

-Janani

.... and I here i am thinking there was nothing as contagious as a smile!

Me: Do you sell them smiles?
Storeguy: Yes. But they are quite expensive.
Me: Ah, not a problem! Please can you give a box of them to that lady there; it’s on me!
Storeguy: Oh, I am sorry! You really are not the first to try…but I never have any that fits her!

K now, does a smile cost a lot, really? Or is it just a matter of no-size-fits-some?

Been wondering about this for a while now. There is this perosn, at whom I wuda smiled a million times, without fail, more like everytime, he turns around and hurries into his house or runs away as if fearing life.

Either its my face which he is not too impressed with; or his smiles are just too damn expensive and he knows I cannot afford one ever in my life!

Well, I have never bitched about him to his face (or to any1 for that matter), never made faces at him, never intentionally done anything to him for him to not give a grin back, so I cant, for the life of me, figure out why I get such a cold response to one little, innocent smile.

It has been sometime now. But well, irrespective of all that, I still smile at him every single time. Its just a simple principle I follow: Its always there, right under my nose, and it costs me nothing! So, why forget its there?? Well, I believe there’s always a smile at the end of a 14-muscle stretch!

P.S.: Well, to those whom it matters: I do not have a scary face — I smiled at my neigbours kid today and she didn’t look scared…not a bit!:):):)

smilez

I am in one of those nicest moods today..Y? Absolutely no reason. Just like that. Feels good infact great. Call me weird, but I just am living the nicest moments. Happens only once in a while... that too for no reason at all. I have this strong urge to get drenched in the rain. (I can just dream of it while TO has had its major share recently).... have a hot cuppa coffee...maybe 2... hot bajjis.... and lovely songs.... by the windowsill. This is a possibility, just that it wouldn’t rain :(

Life is of course a b*tch but sometimes a pretty b*tch!

Who knows, tomorrow I might pull down this post for having a crappy day, but this evening is ALL MINE.

ENILEDIS...........

So there you're sitting online checking your gmail.

And of course you're online on gchat as well....gotta be!!
But have you noticed the number of people who have sidelines next to their names..
Myself included! I am no exception.

It just made me think out loud... why do so many ppl really write a sideline..
A few have their blog links, some professional networking profile pages.. but most just have a sideline.. usually an opinion on a social happening, political or better some declaration of feelings or some famous personality's famous or not so-famous words. Well for be it some have their own not-so-famous words ;);)

Its interesting to know that we all feel the need to express ourselves in varying degrees..Dont we? It also feels good to know that people use this medium - the online-written medium to convey to the world at large - their thoughts, feelings, opinions!!! Somehow gives me a teeny weeny feeling of consolation. We're not a suppressed generation. We voice ourselves. We use the online medium to reach out to people! Hell I use my blog to vent out frustrations, to declare to the world that I'm happy or I'm sad! Donno how good or bad that is...but it surely makes one empty from them darn gibbers that bother and loiters in them.

Also feels good when someone understands! It feels great when someone else says that's exactly how I feel or that's what I think too!

For some reason this post reminds be of the song
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=M43bn-wGAAQ.As1NMvHdW

What a wonderful world!

Random farts!!

Life is funny. And twisted. It isn’t a comedy anymore. It isn’t serious either. But then again, I’m twisted.

I’m a woman. I’m a girl; I’m actually stuck in between. I procrastinate, I am on time always. I procrastinate time. I am complex, I want to be, I try.

Life’s tough as you get older. You are not who you wanted to be. You make it what you want it to be, or close enough. I am confused. So are you.

The last couple of days have got me thinking. I am better and stronger, yet moments make me weak. Abandon. Grrrr...But then again, I’d like to be my usual and rant! But that would be expected, wouldn’t it? I don’t want to be “expected”.

Also, I love this weather. Although this heat wave don’t save me from shit-faced truckie by work who seem to think it his right to splash water, all over my fucking pants every damn time..., encouraging sniggers. Not from me.

I totally love the opportunity to drink “chai” in the paks of "paradise". But the asses that give me a raping stare aren’t welcome. Flockersss, dick weed, it’s not even like sth is exposed and do you even think you can score, with that face of yours? Jayalalitha has a better chance at the cracks in her feet than your face!

Also, moron in the grey sweeps on the white road, seriously, I mean seriously, you , you man.. aren’t driving the Bat mobile you know? You’re car isn’t as small as your dick or brain (for that matter) to squirm through a 4 inch gap! Get a life and GET OF THE PHONE!

The numbfock in another ashsweep, so you think you got it all you asswipe! i bet you havent had the chance w/o the ONE. Live it alone!

I digress.

The weather. Gah! I can’t talk about it anymore.

Talking to a few friends over the days, I realized one thing. Some are selfish or am I selfish... I want what I want. Sue me, Biaaatch!

I am not afraid to get it. I am afraid, however of loneliness. It scares the beeejeezus outta me. Not comforting.

However, I do have time. I don’t follow rules. I break them. I make them. I am a rule. I am my own judge. I judge me. I have the right. I don’t judge you. I am a bad judge of character.

I have my dreams, intact. I know how to get there. This hurdle race annoys me. Get the F*** out of my way. I will achieve it. I will cross.

Friends understand. They know. I don’t. I will be who I want to be. I am like this. I smile. I fret. I jump, I sing, I dance, I fall. I am me. Phew phew

And Fockle me Freddie, slap me purple and call me a child, (insert any other expletive here) but I’ve suddenly realized the meaning of life. But then again, who hasn’t. Join the dumb-fuk club, you tool. :):)

Unspoken Language

Silence accompanied them for the rest of the journey. Silence that had suddenly gained some meaning in their lives. Their unspoken language.

It had been a long day for her. She hadnt slept in almost 24 hours. Her eyes were swollen and red due to the sleeplessness. She was trying to stay awake as he drove. She knew that he was her only solace at that point of time. Her long time friend. A soul that knew her more than anyone else in the world. A soul that understood her more than her very own. He had seen her moments of joy, disappointment and tears. Something she hadnt revealed to anybody else. A privilege set apart only for him. She relived the day when she had spent alone with him. Her special day had been more special by just being with him. She knew not why she felt better when he was around. But that was the way it was. In all her sorrows and gloom, if there was one single thing that she always felt elated about, then it was him. But she was not sure if the things that were happening recently were for the good. She was not sure where they were leading to. She was confused.

He drove in silence, not knowing what she was thinking. This was one moment in their relationship when he was not sure if this was indeed the moment. She was just looking beyond the roads before them, letting her eyes scan the path. She glanced at her watch. 1.00 am. She seemed prettier than usual. Her tired face. Her calm and composed look. Eyes that concealed all the pains of her mind. Her silence beautified her even more. The silence, so typical of her.

'Was she the one? Were they really made for each other? Where was this leading to? Was it really destined to happen? What would she think? What would she reply? Was it the one that I think she would say? Is she indeed my soul mate?' Thoughts raced in his mind.

Amidst all this silence, he turned to her. 'So how was the trip?'

She smiled, 'As I expected it to be'

'Does it mean you liked it?'

'What else do you think? That's why I intended being with you. You know that very well'

'Hmm. You know what? You are a child to me. Your nature. Your innocence. Your stupidity. Yourself'

'I know...And...Thanks for being who you are.' She smiled.

'Can I say something?'

'Yeah. But dont start off with another of your teasing tantrums.'

'No. I wont.' 'This hand of mine is here for you to hold on to. Why dont you hold it forever?'

Silence.

'I dont understand.' She was not sure if she was hearing it all right.

'Will you travel through this journey of life with me, hand in hand?' It was indeed him. It was indeed his words. Words that she had been waiting to hear for many days now. Words that had failed to escape the curves of her mouth.

She stared at him in silence. She placed her hand on his and held it tight. A confidence that she gave him for the precious gift that he had given her.

Silence accompanied them for the rest of the journey. Silence that had suddenly gained some meaning in their lives. Their unspoken language.