May 29, 2009

Its a leaf from an old book!




THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! the crazy weather and rain is over. As my friend Zulu put it, it's been really wierd weather haunting the bay. But rainy days are always nostalgic. And nostalgia is almost synonymous to childhood memories, which you can't deny are surprisingly evergreen. You tend to forget what you did and where you were during the last monsoon. But you cannot forget the times you came home from school, drenched in rain to your heart's content, or the little paper boats you sailed in water puddles when you parents were not around.


I especially remember one day when I was in grade four. It was raining heavily since morning and the streets were flooded. After school, I was waiting for my driver to come and pick me up. But who turned up instead was my dad with an umbrella! On one hand, I was pleasantly surprised. On the other, I was a little apprehensive because besides that I had an innate fear for my dad(just like several kids of my generation), he never allowed us to get wet in the rain and got furious if he saw me waddling in puddles, which I was then hoping to do, if my driver did not turn up on time.


I quietly started walking with him holding my hand. There came the street round the corner, filled with rain water. I was sure my father would turn back and try taking another route or an auto- rickshaw. My dad looked down at me with a mischevous smile. "Thanniyile jal jal nu polaamaa?" (shall we tread happily through this water?) I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe it at all. I hastily agreed with a big grin on my face, before he could change his mind. I can never forget the way I waddled through the flooded streets to my heart's content, alongside my father that day. Long after I came home, washed myself and changed to dry clothes, the feel of the water lingered around my legs. And that daddy appreciated my childish desire to play in the water and let me indulge in it for once, was absolutely heart-warming.
Reliving childhood days by itself would be immensely joyous.

May 20, 2009

Unconditional Love - Just for you :)

Assured bundle her palms did hold,
Cuddled baggage held me in fold.
Surmount care lit in bold,
Inundate gaiety forever to mold.

Foot on foot she taught to tread,
Cheeked cheek, virtues bred.
Knowledge, wisdom, this gourmet fed,
Earth surpassed her love be read.

Digressed pretence to face nadir,
Bank on her, tears and satire.
Daunts changing, my face clad attire
When josh reproves to retire.

Her face sublime, words refulgent,
Proud mother in airs effulgent
Glib my portrait in noble tangent
Tongue too valor suave cogent.

I am her passion in loam,
Meticulous though her days roam,
Nay a minute did focus deform,
For all it means love you mom.

I miss you already :(

Apr 7, 2009

Why isnt anything constant in life?

Nothing is constant in life. You believe is something and realize thats not true...

just a random thought...

Apr 6, 2009

This is for you.....!!

"Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am - a reluctant enthusiast... a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it's still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for awhile and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound people with their hearts in a safe deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this: You will outlive the bastards" - Edward Abbey

I hope this helps you :)

Mar 26, 2009

Munchkins :)

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you.
And share with you it's beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own.
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea.
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me,

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be...what I know best,
a friend that's always there

Am here for you anyday anytime. Am just a phonecall , chat window away.

Mar 4, 2009

Warm Rain ...noooott

It's raining in Jose town today. Not too heavy, but the rain brings some heavy wind and teeny bit of lightning with it. It is making some phones unreliable, the traffic is snarled (although that might be a regular feature of Jose town and nothing to do with the rain). Feels like monsoon season at home except that its COLD. I've missed warm rain all these years ..nothing like a nice warm rain in chennai..This brings back many wonderful memories.

Somehow tied up with those memories are reflections on the levels of poverty and need in India....Wish i can go back and do something worthy for my country. I listened today to stories told by 18 and 20 year olds outside Safeway (very much me...i do talk to any1 and every1) about how they planted kitchen gardens to feed the little kids they were teaching because the local merchants couldn't afford to donate anything to the feeding programs. These kids were from Jo'burg, S.Africa. They were here for higher ed through these sponsorship programs. Conditions there are also desperate, and some of the conversations we have with some of these people are wrenching. On the other hand, there is so much hope. It is inspiring to see these young people talk about building their country and "building a better South Africa" and really and truly trying to do something for their country instead of waiting to be helped. I wondered briefly whether this is what the 50s must have felt like in India. Sadly, none of my grandparents are around so that I can ask them.

I stood on my balcony for a long time watching the rain come down..i got drenched in the Warm Rain adn I wonder, but I have no answers.

Mar 3, 2009

Just for y'all

A very good friend had a conversation with me... and was insisting that i dont lose my strings and that i get back to being myself and the only way to do it.. is i start blogging something happy and by that i should start to write those funky post & relaxing poems rather than depressing poems. I think that person is more than 100% right...I did have more fun doing random jibber blogs than these posts...

soo how about i not quit writing just for the sake of my friend :) THis is what a friend poured into my ears. i just thought ill pen them down to make it sound all bloggy :)

Feel liberated,
and break all barriers.

Take charge,
and be on top of this world.

Shelve your worries,
and pamper yourself with all you desire.

Dream your dreams,
and chase them to its fulfillment.

Embrace happiness,
and have a joyous celebration.

Feel special,
and special you are to all of us.

For, in every sense and every way,
EVERYDAY IS YOUR DAY !

Its my day, Its your day; its everyones day :) so why waste it when you can completely enjoy it...

Thanks to my buddy for all da help and to all those who took the time and effort to actually get in touch with me...u all r da bestest :) xoxo :)

Mar 2, 2009

Maybe my last one....

Maybe it is... I was inspired to write by some1 but now that inspiration and priced posession of mine..i feel is draining..I wrote this poem for a friend but i feel i give in too much to a lot of things that i feel is not good... and even wonder if its something worthed at all..and i always come to a conclusion that it is totally worthed...... Its this strong aversion i am gettin these days which i really hate to say..... I am not writing this to hurt anyone but its just that my priced posession is going against me... it makes me cry more than it wud make me smile ....i miss myself these days.... my only hope in life who was helping me get back to being me.. i feel isnt there anymore...
Maybe this might be my last poem ...

the inspiration that let me be me...
the indpiration thst encouraged me....
the inspiration that was giving me a beeming smile without my saying a word...
the inspiration that wuda held my hand without a brink....
the inspiration that wudnt have thought that i am a pest...
the inspiration that made me that made me sing & dance...
the inspiration that wudnt have let me not be myself...
the inspiration who i thought was the most important part my life...
the inspiration that kept me going
the inspiration that wuda been there before any1 else
the inspiration with so much love
the inspiration with such pleasing face
the inspiration i thought wud accept me for who i am
the inspiration that I luv
the inspiration who was my inspiration

I feel has gone.. i dont think i can ever write again...
I mite have been at fault...and maybe i am OR I am complelety.. i wud admit it...either ways... i still wish to dedicate this to my friend.. and i really hope you keep smiling always.. !! i will always luv u the same way...no matter what... Happy bday !!!

Gift me a promise

Gift yourself smiles.
It keeps your life vibrant.

Gift yourself happiness.
It gives your life youthfulness.

Gift yourself hope.
It gives your life a purpose.

Gift yourself strength.
It gives your life a reason to fight back.

Gift yourself dreams.
It gives your life a whole new perspective.

Gift yourself love,
It makes your life worth living.

And gift me the promise,
that you would cherish
your own gifts for a lifetime.
It would give my life a meaning.

Feb 27, 2009

Some more scribbles - Elusive Silence


Tears slip by

slowly stepping down

the cheek

time is no longer day, month or year,

dates drowned in the past,

moments which used to excite

have lost their worth

memories hurt

evoking a million feelings

anguish, fear, betrayal

and then

subside like a wave,

eyes gazing far

trying to hide

flaring thoughts

voices murmur, clash, clutter inside

words said unsaid,

questions, regrets

pain like a vast desert

touches horizon

where shall I run?

peace is a mirage

a picture incomplete

in a cracked mirror

deluded, confused;

outside

silence prevails

terse, calm, misunderstood

somewhere

deep inside

silence is a flattering illusion.

Feb 26, 2009

My Priced Possession



A true friend is someone I have always longed for. And it was during one of those lonely moments, I found solace in poetry.

I take immense pleasure in letting my emotions out through words that find a secret, sacred place in my poetry notebook. I dream my dreams here, I vent my anger here, I shed my tears here, I smile my smiles here, and I pen down my words of wisdom here.

As I flip through it’s pages, I realize how much I have endured in life and how much I have enjoyed. The stained memories of failures and successes have been captured here for eternity.

To me, it is more than just a bunch of papers. It has taught me to be my own friend, it has helped me explore my inner self,and it has enabled me to make a verse out of every worse situation.

So it remains, till date, to be my most priced possession.

Feb 24, 2009

Best Friend

To pamper me with smiles,
was your vow.
To shower me with happiness,
was your pledge.
To overwhelm me with joy,
was your word of honor.
To delight me with bliss,
was your assurance.
To indulge me in ecstasy,
was your oath.
Rescue me, my love,
before the next drop of tear trickles down.

Dedicated to my closest friend !!

Feb 4, 2009

What do i call it.. Insomnia??!!??

Y such a restless feeling, unable to sleep inspite of reading, painting, running... tried every possible thing...body not reacting to anything... except being stubborn and keeping eyes wide awake.

So wide awake, writing my 2nd blog for the day.. sigh*

Dreaming a make believe life,
based on that i feel hopeful
and it would take in a shape
and breathe a life.

Talked, Thought and even Covertly wrote about it.
Just made me get obsessed as if it was everything to me...

To some unfortunates,
life's a nightmare, and dreams are merely dreams....
Its been soo long and only now do i realize am unfortunate, shattered, disconsolate and maybe even heartbroken....

It’s 0106 hrs....
I refuse to sleep,
for fear of dreaming

(i just re-read my blog.. i am sure its all over the place... well i guess its a typical rant...!! )

Feb 3, 2009

I am bored!!!

I'm bored...

Gimme just one day.... just one day... to live my life.. just for myself...

I'm bored of living for others, doing things for others, being sweet and caring, being responsible and true, being hypocritical (that i'm a happy-go-lucky-gal) and dreamy... all that crap that doused my desires to be what I want to be....

this is not the place where I want to be... this is not my world.... just looking for the curtains to come down.. elegantly-yet-quickly... and that night... i will celebrate life!

I wrote this poem with something itching my mind, the poem is as broken as my thought process, but as I was getting closer to the end (if I can call it so), I couldn't tolerate the dampness any further...!

(Poem Begins)

I woke up today,
If not for a beautiful day,
Just survived, I must say.
Tomorrow, I will wake up, not a new me,
But will let the day be,
Will pray, to wait and see.
With the morning cuddles in bed, when it is cold,
Last-night-sweet-nothings in memories to hold
Let just another brand new day unfold.
Another day comes, will I wake up?
Will the monotony, with me, break up?
Will this gloom move away? Will I let myself cheer up?
I see a dream coming near,
I take each step with tears and fear,
A new day will dawn, I hope, would be beautifully clear.
A broken poem this is,
I know, this game is all His,
End of the day, all I ask is the Bliss.
I might continue this poem, on and on,
Even after all the people around me are gone...

(Poem Forcibly Ends)

I luv u Jells, Bindu, Gogo, Shiznet & Ponchito...U guys are why am still wat i am....!!

Feb 2, 2009

Deeply D....



Am engulfed in this world of darkness,
the beaming lights seeming like a distant brume.

Silence is all that I can hear,
the encircling noises becoming mute spectators.

This world of mine comes to a shocking halt,
mindless to the movements around.

I am here deluging in tears,
but my smile giving me a deceptive outlook.

My heart grows heavy,
stubborn to pay no attention to the lighter side of life.

The friend I had in my solitude,
turns away, disguised as loneliness,
the people around fading into insignificance.

Jan 28, 2009

Why do the heartbeats echo??




















"I lost my heart somewhere, all of a sudden,
but my eyes know this.
In the silent depths of your looks
is where my heart is restless,
lost.

But you are unaware......"

Dec 16, 2008

Sth that keeps me goin!!


Full of emotions, can be strong , rusty, painful but keeps me going whenever am down. 

I love writing them poetries :) 


Dec 5, 2008

Disturbed mind is it ?!?!

Tears slip by slowly stepping down the cheek,

time is no longer day, month or year,

dates drowned in the past,

moments which used to excite have lost their worth,

memories hurt evoking a million feelings,

anguish, fear, betrayal and then subside like a wave,

eyes gazing far trying to hide flaring thoughts,

voices murmur, clash, clutter inside,

words said unsaid,

questions, regrets

pain like a vast desert touches horizon

where shall I run?

peace is a mirage

a picture incomplete in a cracked mirrordeluded, confused;

outside silence prevails

terse, calm,

misunderstood somewhere deep inside,

silence is a flattering illusion.

Nov 17, 2008



Beeming Smile....The word Happiness by itself can make you smile if you are in a good mood, or can reflect all the bad memories if you are in a dull mood, and can set your minds thinking psychologically if you are bit crazy:)
Thinking of the last one, what is your ultimate goal in life? Some say, thats the question which drives our lives, some say its attaining Moksha or Nirvana, some say it is to perform our duties and responsibilities, and some even say its to reach near God! These are all spiritual goals in one way or another. What about materialistic goals? Earning money or becoming famous or is it living happily? I know I know, its all to a few and something arguable.

I remember studying a story about these three brothers. I don’t remember it fully, but it was something about them settling the dispute over the inheritance of wealth or something, the King announced that who ever is successful after 3 years, he would be chosen as the favourable chosen person. The chosen one was a poor farmer, but he was happy. The story ends with the moral that contentment is the ultimate wealth.
Every person in this world faces troubles. There happens mood swings when all thoughts pour in your mind. There self-development and inspirational websites help to some extent to give instant boost, but the effects fade away easily and it true. In many of the websites, they preach to develop friends, or to get busy in something or other, or to work towards your goals and etc. But for all, you need a teeny li’l inspiration, a lovely pat, a small cheer up or a wonderful smile…If you are happy and smiling, you can give a try making others smile too and talking them out. But what if you are not? Thats where we need to improve.
Some people call up their friends to talk. They are lucky to have such close ones to talk them out. But there are situations when they are not reachable or times when we cannot reveal to others. Some just brood over for some time and then recover themselves. Some just hide it in the corner of their heart leaving them to pile up and live as if nothing happened. Then when limit reaches, everything blurts out leaving you shattered. Is this worth? Can’t we share out? No. Because people are not willing to hear out the troubles of others, but just expects the world to solve all the problems.
Why don’t we share both the happiness and sorrows. Have people become so narrow minded or selfish? Some blame it on individual behaviour and some blame on the rules of the society. But isn’t it influenced by the environment we live in? Why don’t people change themselves and love others, instead of learning to hurt them. Why don’t they realize that the source of happiness and peace is themselves? As usual, there would be no answer…!!

Nov 8, 2008

Life happens when you are busy with other things....



I have heard this line a thousand times over… never gave it much thought..  but suddenly with a lot of time in my hands all I had to do was think about anything under the sun..The headline is so true though, I found out during one of these thinking sessions… we are all so engaged with the idea of survival that we forget that theres more to life than just doing what we are supposed to do.. So my point is , though we tend to forget it, that is what life is, the freedom of doing what you want to do seems to be used seldom. I saw this ad recently on this indian channel, beautifully puts it “reclaim your life” In a few months, or say weeks ( wishful thinking til that happens, few may be a lil more than a few) will be back in the corporate world, but i will also have succumbed to the norms set in some invisible way that defines the right from the wrong. I really wonder though, when will I ever find a lil time for myself like I have today.. now I feel bored and keep thinking of when will I head back to work. I need something to do.. then it hits me, this might be the last few days/weeks of my life that I have this lavishly lazy time all to myself.. the thought brightens me up.. I am alive, free and nothing is stopping me from doing what I wanna do.. which brings up the question what do I wanna do??? well, i’ll save that for the next blog.

Oct 22, 2008

Lat ulajhi sulja jaa balam!!!!!!


Rahman weaves his magical thread once more, he attempts to blend a trance groove with Indian classical vocals in Manmohini Morey. No Kidding? Exceptionally attractive, thanks especially to the underrated vocals of Vijay Prakash. Sounds so different from his previous numbers. Rahman's classical sense sharpens; is mindblowing as he composes this addictive melody while capturing the intricacies, nuances and specialties of the Indian classical style. Only he can do it!!!!. It has got a quasi-trance beat to it which takes this song to new levels of gratification. It is set in raag Bheempalas, whose carnatic equivalent is Raagam Abheri . There could have been more improvisation and that it could've have been longer, but the purely techno orchestration gives the song its other-worldiness. Rahman rocks as usual!!!