Kanava....

Ive been looping this song all day. Music can do miracles. Got me up and with a big grin i sit here and blog. There is so much feel and romance in the singers voice & the lyrics go hand in hand. The orchestration is rich, complex sangathis here & there which makes the listener anticipate :) Brilliant composition by TSG yet so simple. Very refreshing tis :)

Its just one of those days. I just wanna take my car to half moon bay and sit by the shore with my ipod and loop this song. Its got a happy content feel to it.

I miss your music guys!! Hope u guys do more of these compositions !

Download Kanava

Cherry Berry Morning

The curtain slowly flutters, in an attempt to blow a cooling breeze towards me and wake me up. I open my eyes slightly to the sound of familiar trees and smell of mild sunshine. But the cosy, warm blanket around me refuses to let go, holding me in a tight embrace that I don't want to break. I try to think of the last thing that was running in my mind before falling asleep (thank god, i wasnt thinking about it - proud as a peacock, i smiled :) Thank you S & V), but my mind appears clean and fresh, like newly washed laundry smelling of a nice detergent flavored with lime. I reach out and fish the book I was reading the night before and continue dwelling in its pages of a house painted like a garden and a girl who plays hopscotch in an abandoned nunnery. There is only one thing that I want this moment to complete this picture. A favorite dog, fluffy cuddly one. I stretch languorously, much like the dog, and pad slowly downstairs to a room that is set aglow with the sharpness of light that can come only after the blunting effect of morning rain.


Balancing a cup of ginger and honey tea and my book, I proceed to sit in a chair outside that i placed last weekend, situated in the midst of a few plants and a bicycle yet cozy:)There is a lulling, soothing insulating quietness. With the sounds of chirruping birds and jostling trees that seem to only add melody to the silence, instead of interrupting it. I notice how there are little white flowers reflected on the glass like specks after a snowfall. And how the dried leaves seem to huddle together in the comfort of old age. And how I ended up starting the day with tea instead of coffee. Things change, and so do I :D

Sometimes

Every moment is a celebration of life. It was a rather nondescript day that gave me this discovery.

It all started with a craving for a Bunny Hug(both literally & figuratively). That, is not a stuffed toy or a hug from a long eared person. It is this tall, mushy glass of butterscotch icecream coated with warm chocolate sauce and cherries and comes with one of those endearing, matching little umbrellas as accessories. But I had to travel quite a while to pick up S first, who was kind enough to indulge my whim. And the car seemed like it had a hangover from racing fellow cars and high on something. Infact, all it prolly was is need for speed. The wild, dusty ride through flashing traffic, a few honking neon cars, overloaded bikes, vigourous policemen and sashaying college going peeps, was infact, quite enjoyable. I had missed the sounds, sights and flavour of the city. This was more like it :)

And the ice cream parlour had been repainted to give a chessboard effect. The fact that I was wearing a chequered black and white print made me camouflage into the surroundings. Gossip sessions, dollops of icecream and some five songs in the background later, we came out grinning and high on life.

Sometimes, it takes nothing to get happier than high. Thanks S for making my day precious and for making me feel precious :)

Wednesday Afternoon

It is Wednesday afternoon. A listless city.
Where sunshine jabs yellow and green sweaters.
To the tune of a violinist's poverty.
People sit together. But in all reality
Will be moving apart tomorrow
Today's happiness could be morrow's sorrow.
Hark. These thoughts profound.
Do you smell cookies, golden and round.
Handmade ones, you imagine with satisfaction.
(But on the way) A baby and mother blowing a bubbly loop.
A couple dribbling a double scoop.
And a you. On the glass's reflection.

For some reason, after writing this it reminded me of the St.Gobain glass commercials you see in india :)

Do not read what is written below

The fact that you are reading this itself, is a proof of man's immense curiosity in things. Or, in another perspective, to listen to nobody else but himself/herself.

Leave an apple in the fruit seller's basket, extolling all the greatness of a healthy fruit. A few people come by to have a look and a peck.

Take the same apple to the top of the highest building, encase it in glass and keep it in view,yet away from the touch of humanity. That's when you will have millions of people gazing at it, discussing about its owner, plotting to steal it and even conducting talk shows about its prospective taste.

As somebody said, there is nothing tastier than a forbidden fruit..

Life and change?

Life teaches you a lot of things: i dunno fo shizzet!!

Somethings are just beautiful, somethings are overly exhausting, somethings you just love, somethings you just cant stop doing, somethings are uncertainty prevailing, somethings are shattered moments, somethings are confusions, somethings are just hope, but then all these somethings however good or bad that you loved no matter what becomes nothing one fine day. That day You learn to live for yourself, "I" plays a more important role than "You". Is it that stage where you realize? or maybe a stage of redundant unwanted thoughts?

For the love that never was....

I dunno why the excitement:):) Like a little child opening her birthday present, a kid in the candy store perhaps, a lover waiting for the angel to turn up... as i get a msg from R, and i have waited for this for a loong loong time. It hasnt changed one bit. Like a mothers love. It is pure. It is innocent. I have promised to meet R this weekend. Apart from promising a million others. But R i definitely have to meet. For old times sake. For the love that never was.

Aromas all the way from chennai :D

All the way from custom made pastas to the Chef's baked bowl, I have explored almost every vegetarian specialty at a lot of places. However my favorite continues to be the signature 'idli vadai sambhar' and 'degree coffee' in Saravana Bhavan on the busy roads of Pondy Bazaar.

There is something nostalgic about relishing the idli dipped in chutney. And I have never tasted anything like what I call 'Special Sambar' from Saravana bhavan.

It reminds me of childhood. Of days when I used to return from school and hurry down the busy roads in order to watch whatever appeared on TV. I used to wait for Amma to return from office, so that we could take the much awaited trip to the Siva Vishnu temple on Usman Road. Now I have to admit that my primary interest was to window shop on my way to the temple. The bangle seller, the poo-kaari, the second hand book store, the kulfi-wala and the the panjumittai-karan with his hot pink cotton candies provided the sort of entertainment that Door Darshan didn't.

And once the archanais and abhishekams were over, Amma would occasionally walk me across to the tiffin section of one of the earliest Saravana Bhavan outlets. On the days she had enjoyed herself at work I would be rewarded with my favourite 'sada dosai' in the A/C section on the third floor. The waiters who by then were our extended family always made it a point to keep an extra kinnam of their famous HSB'Sambar'. After dinner I would grab some somph in my right hand and salute the sentry at the door. Outside Saravana Bhavan, Amma would help herself to the customary paan and advice me on the repercussions of children tasting paan! If I managed a convincing puppy dog face she would buy me a Goldspot or Frooti from Nadar stores on the way home. We would walk back with an unexplained contentment in our lives. And I would thank Siva Vishnu for being so strategically located...

Almost 16 years later, the sada dosai with HSB Sambar (and now a degree coffee has joined the list) brings back memories of innocent days and carefree moments...Of times when all that mattered was that extra kinnam of the famous Sambar :)

A small talk to myself !!

A thought flashed my mind. What if I started this year afresh as if I had nothing to look back to?’ No past baggage, no experiences and nothing from the past to the present, and then to the future. Oh! great, but how then would the present look like? And then the future? A lot of such questions passed my mind. Somewhere, something that I had learnt then popped up.

‘Nothingness’ at the present was at first discomforting, but also enabled in me the possibilities of 'everything'. If I have nothing, then everything is possible. A new paradigm to live life, a powerful life to lead and actually write the script that I can dream to live - everyday of my life. So the future, then, will be a life full of possibilities and anything I want, I dare and would be ‘raring’ to go. That looked interesting but overwhelming.

Life, I thought, anyway was a zero sum game. One starts from nothing and ends up with nothing. Rich or poor, all end up the same way. Some are cremated, some are buried. Life, finally, is empty and meaningless. What remains is the present....

Then why not start life anew? The immediate possibility now is to take on each day with curiosity and excitement:)

Its a leaf from an old book!

THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! the crazy weather and rain is over. As my friend Zulu put it, it's been really wierd weather haunting the bay. But rainy days are always nostalgic. And nostalgia is almost synonymous to childhood memories, which you can't deny are surprisingly evergreen. You tend to forget what you did and where you were during the last monsoon. But you cannot forget the times you came home from school, drenched in rain to your heart's content, or the little paper boats you sailed in water puddles when you parents were not around.

I especially remember one day when I was in grade four. It was raining heavily since morning and the streets were flooded. After school, I was waiting for my driver to come and pick me up. But who turned up instead was my dad with an umbrella! On one hand, I was pleasantly surprised. On the other, I was a little apprehensive because besides that I had an innate fear for my dad(just like several kids of my generation), he never allowed us to get wet in the rain and got furious if he saw me waddling in puddles, which I was then hoping to do, if my driver did not turn up on time.

I quietly started walking with him holding my hand. There came the street round the corner, filled with rain water. I was sure my father would turn back and try taking another route or an auto- rickshaw. My dad looked down at me with a mischevous smile. "Thanniyile jal jal nu polaamaa?" (shall we tread happily through this water?) I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe it at all. I hastily agreed with a big grin on my face, before he could change his mind. I can never forget the way I waddled through the flooded streets to my heart's content, alongside my father that day. Long after I came home, washed myself and changed to dry clothes, the feel of the water lingered around my legs. And that daddy appreciated my childish desire to play in the water and let me indulge in it for once, was absolutely heart-warming.
Reliving childhood days by itself would be immensely joyous.

Unconditional Love - Just for you :)

Assured bundle her palms did hold,
Cuddled baggage held me in fold.
Surmount care lit in bold,
Inundate gaiety forever to mold.

Foot on foot she taught to tread,
Cheeked cheek, virtues bred.
Knowledge, wisdom, this gourmet fed,
Earth surpassed her love be read.

Digressed pretence to face nadir,
Bank on her, tears and satire.
Daunts changing, my face clad attire

When josh reproves to retire.

Her face sublime, words refulgent,
Proud mother in airs effulgent
Glib my portrait in noble tangent
Tongue too valor suave cogent.

I am her passion in loam,
Meticulous though her days roam,
Nay a minute did focus deform,
For all it means love you mom.

I miss you already :(

Why isnt anything constant in life?

Nothing is constant in life. You believe is something and realize thats not true...

just a random thought...

This is for you.....!!

"Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am - a reluctant enthusiast... a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it's still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for awhile and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound people with their hearts in a safe deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this: You will outlive the bastards" - Edward Abbey

I hope this helps you :)

Munchkins :)

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you.
And share with you it's beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own.
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea.
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me,

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be...what I know best,
a friend that's always there

Am here for you anyday anytime. Am just a phonecall , chat window away.

Warm Rain ...noooott

It's raining in Jose town today. Not too heavy, but the rain brings some heavy wind and teeny bit of lightning with it. It is making some phones unreliable, the traffic is snarled (although that might be a regular feature of Jose town and nothing to do with the rain). Feels like monsoon season at home except that its COLD. I've missed warm rain all these years ..nothing like a nice warm rain in chennai..This brings back many wonderful memories.

Somehow tied up with those memories are reflections on the levels of poverty and need in India....Wish i can go back and do something worthy for my country. I listened today to stories told by 18 and 20 year olds outside Safeway (very much me...i do talk to any1 and every1) about how they planted kitchen gardens to feed the little kids they were teaching because the local merchants couldn't afford to donate anything to the feeding programs. These kids were from Jo'burg, S.Africa. They were here for higher ed through these sponsorship programs. Conditions there are also desperate, and some of the conversations we have with some of these people are wrenching. On the other hand, there is so much hope. It is inspiring to see these young people talk about building their country and "building a better South Africa" and really and truly trying to do something for their country instead of waiting to be helped. I wondered briefly whether this is what the 50s must have felt like in India. Sadly, none of my grandparents are around so that I can ask them.

I stood on my balcony for a long time watching the rain come down..i got drenched in the Warm Rain adn I wonder, but I have no answers.

Just for y'all

A very good friend had a conversation with me... and was insisting that i dont lose my strings and that i get back to being myself and the only way to do it.. is i start blogging something happy and by that i should start to write those funky post & relaxing poems rather than depressing poems. I think that person is more than 100% right...I did have more fun doing random jibber blogs than these posts...

soo how about i not quit writing just for the sake of my friend :) THis is what a friend poured into my ears. i just thought ill pen them down to make it sound all bloggy :)

Feel liberated,
and break all barriers.

Take charge,
and be on top of this world.

Shelve your worries,
and pamper yourself with all you desire.

Dream your dreams,
and chase them to its fulfillment.

Embrace happiness,
and have a joyous celebration.

Feel special,
and special you are to all of us.

For, in every sense and every way,
EVERYDAY IS YOUR DAY !

Its my day, Its your day; its everyones day :) so why waste it when you can completely enjoy it...

Thanks to my buddy for all da help and to all those who took the time and effort to actually get in touch with me...u all r da bestest :) xoxo :)

Maybe my last one....

Maybe it is... I was inspired to write by some1 but now that inspiration and priced posession of mine..i feel is draining..I wrote this poem for a friend but i feel i give in too much to a lot of things that i feel is not good... and even wonder if its something worthed at all..and i always come to a conclusion that it is totally worthed...... Its this strong aversion i am gettin these days which i really hate to say..... I am not writing this to hurt anyone but its just that my priced posession is going against me... it makes me cry more than it wud make me smile ....i miss myself these days.... my only hope in life who was helping me get back to being me.. i feel isnt there anymore...
Maybe this might be my last poem ...

the inspiration that let me be me...
the indpiration thst encouraged me....
the inspiration that was giving me a beeming smile without my saying a word...
the inspiration that wuda held my hand without a brink....
the inspiration that wudnt have thought that i am a pest...
the inspiration that made me that made me sing & dance...
the inspiration that wudnt have let me not be myself...
the inspiration who i thought was the most important part my life...
the inspiration that kept me going
the inspiration that wuda been there before any1 else
the inspiration with so much love
the inspiration with such pleasing face
the inspiration i thought wud accept me for who i am
the inspiration that I luv
the inspiration who was my inspiration

I feel has gone.. i dont think i can ever write again...
I mite have been at fault...and maybe i am OR I am complelety.. i wud admit it...either ways... i still wish to dedicate this to my friend.. and i really hope you keep smiling always.. !! i will always luv u the same way...no matter what... Happy bday !!!

Gift me a promise

Gift yourself smiles.
It keeps your life vibrant.

Gift yourself happiness.
It gives your life youthfulness.

Gift yourself hope.
It gives your life a purpose.

Gift yourself strength.
It gives your life a reason to fight back.

Gift yourself dreams.
It gives your life a whole new perspective.

Gift yourself love,
It makes your life worth living.

And gift me the promise,
that you would cherish
your own gifts for a lifetime.
It would give my life a meaning.

Some more scribbles - Elusive Silence

Tears slip by

slowly stepping down

the cheek

time is no longer day, month or year,

dates drowned in the past,

moments which used to excite

have lost their worth

memories hurt

evoking a million feelings

anguish, fear, betrayal

and then

subside like a wave,

eyes gazing far

trying to hide

flaring thoughts

voices murmur, clash, clutter inside

words said unsaid,

questions, regrets

pain like a vast desert

touches horizon

where shall I run?

peace is a mirage

a picture incomplete

in a cracked mirror

deluded, confused;

outside

silence prevails

terse, calm, misunderstood

somewhere

deep inside

silence is a flattering illusion.

My Priced Possession

A true friend is someone I have always longed for. And it was during one of those lonely moments, I found solace in poetry.

I take immense pleasure in letting my emotions out through words that find a secret, sacred place in my poetry notebook. I dream my dreams here, I vent my anger here, I shed my tears here, I smile my smiles here, and I pen down my words of wisdom here.

As I flip through it’s pages, I realize how much I have endured in life and how much I have enjoyed. The stained memories of failures and successes have been captured here for eternity.

To me, it is more than just a bunch of papers. It has taught me to be my own friend, it has helped me explore my inner self,and it has enabled me to make a verse out of every worse situation.

So it remains, till date, to be my most priced possession.

Best Friend

To pamper me with smiles,
was your vow.
To shower me with happiness,
was your pledge.
To overwhelm me with joy,
was your word of honor.
To delight me with bliss,
was your assurance.
To indulge me in ecstasy,
was your oath.
Rescue me, my love,
before the next drop of tear trickles down.

Dedicated to my closest friend !!